Supporting culturally marginalised groups is the focus and you’re feeling so guilty about being part of the dominant culture. Guilty about the oppressive systems in place. And guilty about the actions of your ancestors.
The truth is, your guilt is hindering you understanding, ability and capacity for being a good ally.
Here are a few reasons why holding on to guilt hinders allyship:
1. Focusing on your Guilt overpowers your ability to listen to marginalised people in an empathetic way
I say this with so much love. It’s. Not. About. You. Allyship is about engaging in deep listening and acknowledgement of the mariginalised group. Something that my people, the Noongar people call Dahni. It’s a space where you listen with an open heart. You take in everything that is being said without the need or want to respond or ‘fix’ things. It’s a type of listening that enables you to see and hear that person in their completeness. Their wholeness. Dahni is when you are completely present, you take in all that is being said and express, and you sit in still contemplation of it. If you feel guilt, you cannot be actively engaging in Dahni.
2. Acknowledging wrong doing and feeling guilt are 2 separate things
Guilt is an unpleasant and often debilitating feeling. I don’t want anyone to sit in the feeling of guilt. Guilt is often tied to the knowing that something bad is happening to another person, that CAN be done to prevent it, but not taking that action. Is there’s something you can do to prevent pain, suffering or exclusion? Is there something that can stop or alter the oppressive systems into something more Inclusive? Unlike the paralysis that feeling guilty brings, acknowledgement of wrong doings can be motivating and inspire action. There is no attachment to how it makes you feel as an individual but rather what you can do as an individual to do something about it.
3. The laws of the universe prevent any good result from guilt
Everything is energy and vibration. The frequency of the vibration resonates at particular frequencies that we can interpret through our interpretation of emotions. The Feeling of guilt is a lower frequency emotion and is a close to the frequency of shame. The frequencies for equality, acceptance, love, inclusion and oneness are at the other end of the frequency spectrum. Now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction. This is one of the 12 universal laws. It’s the basis for channelling of Abraham Hicks through Esther Hicks and also foundation of the book & documentary ‘The Secret”. If you’re unfamiliar with these references, what the Law of Attraction is…
“Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually.”The Law of Attraction.com
The end goal for Allies is equality; Is cultural acceptance; Is global unity. Under the Law of Attraction, this goal cannot be achieved if guilt is the driving force. It can only bring and manifest more guilt. This is why I work with allies to shift their guilt and transform it in to powerfully inspired action that not only is effective but contributes to the co-creation of an inclusive world based on high frequencies. Is guilt something you’re finding hard to shift? It’s ok to feel guilt, let’s just see if we can transform it into something more powerful and positive. Let me know in the comments.
4. Guilt can be linked with pity. We (Aboriginal People) don’t want that.
Guilt might feel like the most appropriate way to express dislike and disapproval for what happened in the past and what’s happening right now. But it’s not. Sharing that you’re riddled with guilt about the situation not only shares your disapproval of the treatment, but it prioritises your feelings (See point 1), and it layers it with an unconscious level of pity. Aboriginal people are strong, resilient people. We don’t want or need pity. Ever! It’s demeaning and can exhibit placement of power. Whoa! Yes that was a tough one to swallow but it’s true. Pity and its partner in crime, apathy, are two behaviours that you have been socially conditioned to take part in. Even without knowing. And these are just 2 social conditioning behaviours that are built to support oppressive systems. There’s lots more.
5. Expressions of guilt, express separation & otherness
As mentioned above, expressing guilt can also express other things too. Expressing your guilt can also mean, you are detached, or separate from a group of marginalised people. This is probably the most hurtful thing that your guilt can express. It showcases your internal belief that you see yourself as being separate from the marginalised group people. That you’re one group pf people and the marginalised group is the other. The otherness is the thing that create exclusion, segregation and marginalisation to begin with. It’s deeply rooted within the unconscious mind and it needs someone who knows how to bring these into awareness and transform them into alignment with your core values of equality, inclusion, acceptance, unity and oneness (yes I can help you with this). The foundation of inclusion is the understanding that at the macro level, we all belong to the same group. That smaller communities of people are in that large group. And that if mistreatment is happening to one particular community, it effects the larger group as a whole too. Othering, places the marginalise community outside of the larger collective, hence creating exclusion.
If this has sparked your curiosity into learning more about the unconscious social conditioning, or biases within you and you want to learn how you can be a good ally, I strongly suggest your starting point be to enroll into my self-led online course “Introduction to Culturally Inclusive Language”. Language is one of the key ways to create social change and innovation. You can find the course here.
And for all you heart-centered people… I’m sure you’re wondering how you can also create more inclusion in you the spaces you’re in. I’m running a free 4-day training & challenge which is an introduction to creating incluive spaces. It starts on 7th-10th September 2020. I invite you to join me by signing up here.